Welcome to Loserville,Where Kumar is your new Obama.

The FBI called me last night.They said.

"Mr.Kumar,The things you have been posting on facebook and your blog is very lewd and inappropriate for the young ones.Please clean up your act or you will be shot in the forehead by our highly trained snipers.This message will selfdestruct in 10 seconds."

Boom!My iPhone became ithousandpiecesofPhone.I was so sad.I twittered about it.

Then I went to the mamak.I was really hungry.

I ordered Nasi Goreng Kurang Goreng.I like it rare.And Milo ais tambah Limau.

While waiting for the food,I was wondering,What did FBI stand for?

"Full Blooded Indian la,Thambi" said the mamak man.

I was like what the FUCK.

I asked "I was thinking silently,Are you some sort of Mind reader."

Anne said,"No la,Thambi,Last time I like to watch That so Raven."

I felt like a loser.I too used to watch That so Raven when I was a kid.

But I cant read minds.Why the fuck cant I read minds?

Mamak intercepted again,"Aiyo,Your TV not HD lar!"

I felt like a loser.I went home.

*My middle finger shown to the mamak in Hi-Defination*

I got so fucking energetic.I became godzilla and ate kampung houses.

Hi,Nice to meet you.My name is Kumar.No,I dont know any Harold.

I am 19.I live with my parents.I have no money.

The guy at 7/E thinks I am loser.

"Abang,Top up digi Sepuluh Ringgit satu"


I knew the guy was cool,He had his Rayban on.

Then he gave me the coupon.I kindly paid him.

"Ape Nie Adik.Loser ar kau.Bayar guna 10 sen.Macam mana aku nak kira ni"

I said,"Sorry bang,saya miskin.Saya dah tak makan 3 hari.Duit makan nak beli top up"

Abang 7/E replied,"Loser betul arr,Baik kau Fuck off dari sini."

I was sad,but at least my phone had credit.=]

I lost my phone the next day.=[

I have low tolerance level.

Once I walked in to 7/E.

Ofcouse,the abang was cock-staring me.

I wanted to buy some water.

But then I heard strange noises.

I heard the cigarettes calling my name!

"Kumar!Kumar!Buy me!I taste good!"

I bought a packet.

Came out and smoked it.

I felt cool.Just like Justin Bieber.

I tried to stop.But everytime I said that.I just got better at it.

I dont drink alkohol.Cause I find that it taste bad.

So the fresh fruit guy in AC calls me a sissy.

Once he tried to sell me durian.

Everybody knows,You can't sell durian in public.


"Macha,mau beli durian ka"

"Murah mia"

I dislike durians.

"Tak pe bang,Bagi saya Honeydew"

He said,"Sorry I dont deal with sissy's,Fuck Off".In a really good english accent.


Thats about everything there is about to know about me.

*Middle finger to the Fresh Fruit Guy*